Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
