They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
