i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Randomize