we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just googled if crying burns calories
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
