GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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