you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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