I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
