Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
