Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
