My hair reeks of homosexuality.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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