And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
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Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
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She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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