I want to have your abortion
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
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