You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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