Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
