I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
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All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
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Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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