Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
