You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
