I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
