goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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