glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
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i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I have fence marks all over my body
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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