My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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