Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize