I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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