yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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