I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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