jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So much Jack, so little girl.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
