I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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