I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
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