Only a mothe r could love this liver
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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