I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
