So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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