His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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