"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
