Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
