ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
