STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
