I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
