Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
