Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize