If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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