I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
