The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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