So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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