We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize