im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
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