Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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