I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
