brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
i believe in u and ur pee
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
