Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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