this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
