Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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