Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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