Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
