The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
