things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You've changed since you got that strap on
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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